Genesis 30:3

I know, it’s been too long again. I’ve been busy lately and haven’t had much leisure time on the internet until now. I decided I would take the extra hour provided by the time change to write a little. If the title of this post seems oddly biblical – it is, but there is reason to it and the reason, is naturally, The Mountain Goats. TMG recently put out a new album which I had until recently not really connected with. But now I’m starting to digest the songs, to appreciate them, and this song is one of those that just fits right now. To me, its about accepting things that can’t be changed and being okay with that. Being okay and moving forward, beginning new. And that’s what I want for myself right now.

This week was rough and long. But this year seems to be flying by, it’s insane. I started researching law schools, finally. It’s actually kind of exciting, but daunting in so many ways. I had a long chat with my parents a few weeks ago, about growing up and making decisions. They helped me realize that I’m going to make mistakes, and that that’s okay. We’re all going to make mistakes, but it won’t be the end of the world. I guess being an adult is about being brave enough to make the tough decisions even though you have no idea what you should do or if everything is going to work out alright. I think I’m ready now to start making decisions, ready to fail if it comes to that, ready to say I was wrong, ready to keep moving forward despite unending uncertainties. As what they apparently see as a comforting sentiment, my parents keep reiterating that if they had a choice they wouldn’t choose to go back to their 20s – in purgatory between childhood and adulthood, too much confusion and uncertainty and emotion. I haven’t decided whether this is altogether comforting or downright depressing (8 more years of all that?), but at least it means that we aren’t alone in feeling like this.

Scotch Grove

A quick story to relate that is indicative of changes to come:

Most people that have been in a big city with me are aware of the fact that I attract crazy people, homeless people, or people that may be typically sane or normal, but feel the need to bare their soul to me. I have no idea why I have this effect on people but I do. Anyway, yesterday I went through the McDonald’’s drive thru to get some french fries (which I wish had been covered with mayonnaise and in a cone), and then I pulled into a parking space to eat them. As I was gluttonously munching on my snack, a man approached my car and asked if I would “give $5 to a homeless veteran. I immediately decided, I would give him the money, but hestitated, not wanting him to think I was being overly friendly. He continued on to tell me that he needed to buy a value meal so he could take his insulin, that he was homeless, and showing me his belt with the Marines logo, a veteran. I knew from the second I saw him, his bloodshot eyes and red face, and the fact that he walked straight away from McDonalds and never looked back, that he was never going to buy food with whatever money I gave him. He was going to buy two 40s, or crack, or herione, or god knows what. And maybe he didn’t, maybe I’m being too judgemental. But to me, it didn’t really matter because in a split second I decided taht this man, whatever his story, needed a drink, a high, a reprieve, escape, holiday, a trip away from reality more than I did.

After this incident, I got to thinking. Thinking about how Idon’t like working for money to survive, how I wish I could do what I did yesterday more often – without pause or care give something to someone else and expect nothing in return. It was liberating. But there’s another selfish part of me that wants to travel, experience, do things, all of which require money. I don’t really know how to reconcile these two things. I suppose it’s the sort of balancing act that life is all about.

Collapsing Stars

I have decided to pull this blog out of relative obscurity and begin writing again. But this time instead of  writing about my escapades abroad, I intend to use this blog as an outlet for all of my pent up thoughts, feelings, musings, goals, frustrations, hopes, and fears. I have recently begun a phase of my life which I anticipitate to be very different from anything I have thus far experienced. I am not in school. That is weird enough by itself to freak me out (because I LOVE school, I know, I’m a total dork). I have a “real” job. I live alone. My best friend (and less importantly boyfriend) is moving to California. And so I must write to process what the hell is going on with my life.

These things are what is happening to me now, not who I am. Yet I often feel confined by these scary facts. Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for how my post-grad life has evolved so far, but now there are different challenges to face. The thing I’ve having the hardest time with is being alone much of time. I used to think of myself as a very solitary person, used to be attracted to a future of work as a scientist in a lab coat, far away from the pressure of social interactions. But as I have grown up, and become slightly less insecure and terrified of society, I have realized that though difficult at times, I do like working with people, and not only that I like being around people most of the time. Well, certain people. I absolutely love having my own apartment filled with things that make me smile, make me comfortable, make me happy, but it still feels a bit empty without someone to share it with.

All this alone time, breeds much time lost in thought and reflection on myself, the people in my life, my goals, the future, the state of the world,  in short, reflection on everything. It has forced me to take a good look at myself, and think about what things I would like to do, to be, to see. Which is all well and good I suppose, but sometimes its more comfortable to hide myself in a busy life so I don’t have to confront my own failings, secrets, and mistakes. Yesterday I wrote five goals on a piece of construction paper and hung it up in my bathroom. That helped. I don’t even know why. It was something productive to center all my scattered thoughts and aspirations on, and there is something so satisfying about crossing things off of a list. One of those goals was to read and write more. And so I am on my way to acheiving something.

This is so unfocused I don’t even know what to write next. That is why I’m writing; because sometimes I feel like a bottle filled with little lightning bugs of thought that are trying to fly away before their light goes out, before they fade away. Sometimes I have little strokes of brilliance, observations, phrases that I want to keep, even if the world thinks them superfulous. And this is where they are going to live.

Leaving Home/ Love, Love, Love

8/6/08

I don’t know what to say at this point, but I have so many thoughts and feelings in my head at this moment. I apologize for the lack of information on my life in the past two months. I have mostly failed at this blog endeavor, but I need to write now. It doesn’t matter who reads this anymore, though appreciate you who do. I’m writing this post for myself, no holding back.

So tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 21. It’s exciting I guess, but it seems overshadowed by all of the events and emotions of the last week. There are so many things I want to say, I hope I can get them all down. I don’t have much time left. A matter of hours here in Amsterdam. I don’t know when I’ve felt so sad and desperate, but also so content and happy. I don’t want to leave. I love this place, this experience, these people, myself in this environment. I finally feel like a real grown up, living in the city and owning it. I was saying to Bri the other day that I have never felt this attached to a particular place before. Amsterdam feels like home, and always will. That feeling is completely separate from the people and education I have received here, not that I have not enjoyed those completely (which I will address later). But, this place, these Dutch people that I don’t know, I love them. I love them completely and unconditionally. This city is not perfect, but it has made the best out of what characteristics it has. I have never been good at explaining why I feel a connection to particular locations. I knew after visiting Wooster once that it was where I would go to school in the end. This city has the same effect on me, except on a whole other level. It has all the best things about a big city without the negative things. It makes me happy, and it has helped me grow up and rediscover myself. I don’t really know what else to say about it except that the last couple of days spent here have been some of the best of my life. I love this city, I love my friends, and I love me; I love life.

This semester reinforced my self-confidence and strength. I feel like I can do anything now, I can go anywhere, live anywhere, meet anyone, and meet the challenge head on. I have remembered what it is to be completely independent again, and it is rejuvenating and empowering. I am so excited about the next few years and the plans I have made for myself. For just me. This is not to say that there are not people in my life that mean the world to me, that I love, that I want to help and share my journey with. But I needed a taste of independence again, to test myself and see what I am capable of. I came into this experience not knowing one person in this entire country, not knowing the language or customs, and I have survived and thrived here. I made friends, explored a city, learned a language, lived with new people, adjusted. I feel like I can adapt to any situation now, and that feeling is so energizing. I don’t need to wait for anyone else to make plans, to tell me what my options are, to dictate what is plausible. It’s all within the realm of possibility now.

I love my friends here. I have decided the best way to describe us, is that we are family. It’s the only way to put it and I can’t really explain it. It’s surreal to me that in a few days, I won’t get to see them on a daily basis anymore. I’m losing it right now. I don’t want to leave you guys. I want you to know that I love you all and want to thank you so much for sharing this amazing and surreal experience with me. I will never forget you, though I can’t promise I will be the best at keeping in touch. We will see each other again soon, I don’t doubt it. There are so many memories, innumerable inside jokes I could record right now, but none can capture how much you and this whole semester have meant to me.

I don’t want to leave. I love and terribly miss my family and friends at home. But I don’t want this feeling, this constant of experience and progress, to end. A few weeks ago a friend of mine wrote a post about leaving his study abroad program that expressed how he felt that he had not walked the city enough, not learned enough, not met enough people etc. At the time, I completely agreed, I did feel the same. But now, after a week of gorgeous Amsterdam skies, epic dancing, markets, bicycles, challenges, laughs, and strolling the streets for hours, I don’t feel that way anymore. I have made the most of my time here. It’s not that I haven’t done enough, it’s that I don’t want this part of my life to end. I want more of the same perfect days, the freedom, the exploration. On Thursday night, we went out to the Bitterzoet dancing. I did not want to leave, I did not want that night to end. The music, my friends, the club, the other people, the air, the atmosphere, were all impeccably perfect. I couldn’t let go. I still can’t. I’ve had several moments this week when my departure hit me like a smack in the face. One day I was simply standing in line in Albert Hein to buy a few things. The tiny store was packed full of people because it was Sunday, and AH is always thronging on Sundays. I was just standing there, staring at the products covered in Dutch text, waiting behind several people to be served. My mind wandered to Coshocton, to Buehler’s, where I will be buying groceries in a weeks’ time. It was a terrifying thought. I don’t want to see and hear English everywhere, I don’t want to constantly run into people I know at the store, or have to pack my groceries into my car after I buy them. I started getting overwhelmed by the very idea of it. The middle-aged Dutch man in front of me smiled, other Dutch people were helping each other get baskets in the crowded store, and it was all too much for me to bear. It was all I could do to make it out of the store without crying my eyes out on the spot. I was overwhelmed with the thought of leaving all of this behind for good. I will come back here to visit for sure, but it will never be the same, unless I manage to live here again, and even then my friends would not be here to make it that much more wonderful. I was overcome with the inescapable deadline of departure, of inexplicable change. I’m no good at change, but I think it’s what drives our lives, makes us realize the temporary nature of existence, the precious moments, the people that touch our lives. I could write so much more, but it’s late and I leave for Germany tomorrow, I leave Amsterdam. I will be home in less than a week. I don’t know whether I will write again, whether I should, or can. There is still so much to do before I leave, and goodbyes to be said, and cried. Though it sounds selfish, I really don’t give a damn whether anyone else enjoyed or read this blog, because it has meant something to me and my journey. To my loves at home: I will see you so soon and I look forward to catching up on all that I have missed in your lives. To my Amsterdam gang: you are beautiful, intelligent, corky, nerdy, awkward, trendy, driven, fun, and magnificent in so many ways. Thank you for everything, for being who you are.

Goodbyes are not forever.

Peace.

Going to Hungary

Well it’s not as soon as I had hoped, but another update nonetheless. I mean I’m less than a month behind at this point, cut me some slack. I have resolved to write more frequently in general, so perhaps that will motivate me to catch up on this forum as well as others. I did write a massive amount of postcards the other day, which I was very proud of. But now I am dreading paying for all the postage. Fucking economy. Let us travel back to Budapest before I start being depressed about how much the dollar sucks….

17/4/08

After arriving back in Amsterdam from Luxembourg, I had a mere two days of rest before heading off on another adventure. We got back to Amsterdam Monday afternoon, and by Wednesday afternoon, I had done laundry, repacked, and made it onto the bus for Budapest, Hungary to visit Natalie. Although at that point I felt fairly confident in my bus traveling abilities, this was my first trip alone on a bus, and the longest. About 22 hours to be exact. Yes, I was on the same bus with hordes of smelly, cranky, chattering foreigners for 22 hours. After a while I became paranoid and convinced that everyone on the bus was talking about how I was an ignorant American who took up too much space. There’s just something about having a foreign language spoken around you consistently for long periods of time that drives you crazy when you have no one to talk to. The trip to Budapest wasn’t so bad though, except that I got no sleep whatsoever. I arrived in Budapest, exhausted and disoriented, but excited to see a familiar face. After a brief wait in the train station, Natalie arrived and set off on the metro toward her apartment. It was amazing to see someone from home. I haven’t really been terribly homesick here, but there is great comfort in the familiar. We got caught up on each other’s recent travels (she went on a fabulous cruise!) until we reached her amazing apartment. I am perfectly happy with our living arrangements here, but I was very jealous of the size and grandeur of Natalie’s apartment. It was gorgeous. Unfortunately, Natalie had several midterms that day, so we just had time to grab some lunch before she went to study and suffer through a math exam. Gross. We had the most delicious Hungarian snack thing, I can’t remember what it’s called. It’s basically fried bread with sour cream, cheese, and garlic on top. Amazing. We devoured our snack and then Natalie disappeared into math world, and I set off into Budapest, map in hand, determined to see some of the city before I collapsed from fatigue. I planned out a route that took me through a nearby park and then down one of the main streets in Budapest. The park was pleasant, and I sat down to enjoy the sunshine and warmth for a moment. Then I wandered back out into the city, noticing a large square with lots of statutes, which I later discovered was called Hero’s Square. I walked down the street for a long while, just drinking in the city. Budapest was distinct from all the other cities I have visited so far. It definitely had an Eastern European feel, which I can’t really describe, and that was nice for a change. The buildings were extremely varied, but all interesting architecturally. I don’t really remember much else from that first afternoon because I was pretty tired. I made it back to Natalie’s apartment without getting lost, and took a quick nap until she got back from class in the late afternoon.

After rising from my much needed nap, Natalie suggested we meet up with her roommate and a friend she had visiting to go an art museum and then to the baths. The art museum bit didn’t really pan out, as it was about to close as we arrived there. We decided to walk around the nearby park that I visited earlier in the day until Natalie’s roommate and her friend were ready to go to the baths. When it was time to move in the direction of the nearby baths, we got ourselves a bit lost in the park wandering around in circles. Natalie kept freaking out and apologizing, but I didn’t mind, I had faith in her navigating skills. She eventually directed us to the baths we were searching for (like I knew she would) and we went inside to get changed. The baths were a really cool and eye opening experience. Lots of naked middle-aged women yelling at me in Hungarian, and employees pointing all over to direct us to the correct changing area. We finally figured things out, got our suits on, and ventured outside to the outdoor baths. It was nice weather out, but not exactly ideal for bathing suits, so we jumped in the first pool we saw. Eventually we found Natalie’s friend and moved into the warmer of the two outdoor pools. It was a very relaxing atmosphere. Steam was rising off of the warm bath and the hot water soothed my tired body and mind. Natalie had a nice time talking about study abroad experiences and reminiscing about Wooster and Miller Manor. Sigh. Just thinking about those blissful days of freshman year makes me miss everyone at Wooster ten times more. Anyway, after relaxing in the baths for a good while, we dried off, cleaned up, and decided to grab some dinner at a Communist pizza joint, whose name escapes me. It was something to do with Marx…come up with something clever yourself, I know you’re capable. Beer and communist pizza: a wholesome meal for any political theorist. Natalie and I ordered two small pizzas to share, both of which were very unique and involved sour cream. Damn Europeans and their dairy products. The décor in the restaurant was what you would expect, lots of red and some cool propaganda. It was amusing to see a country embrace its communist past in such a capitalist fashion. The pizzas tasted grand and we traveled back to Natalie’s apartment with full bellies. I crashed into my bed, and slept like a rock.

The next morning I slept in a bit since Natalie was taking her final midterm exam of the week. When she came back we decided to visit the giant market hall in Budapest to grab some lunch and do some touristy shopping. We didn’t find any lunch there, and ended up eating at this sort of sketchy restaurant where the waiter brought our food in from outside. Neither of us got sick, so I didn’t question it after that. After lunch we went back into the market to look around at the wares the Hungarians were pushing. There were lots of traditional Hungarian trinkets and many pretty things to look at. One impression I had of Hungary, is that they are very much into traditional things, but not necessarily in a conservative sense. They just embrace their traditional dress and crafty things to sell to the tourists, and also have lots of traditionally Hungarian foods, which is very different from my impression of the Dutch. Natalie said they also are traditional with their language, in that they formulate Hungarian words for new items, like they have their own word for computer, instead of just using ‘computer’ like most other languages I’ve encountered. I found it interesting. After exploring the market, we proceeded into another touristy area, where I justified buying myself a few things because I’ll only be in Budapest once of course. One of their trademark tourist items is the ‘secret box’. Anytime you walk into a place that sells these boxes and look remotely interested in buying one, a salesperson will rush over and expediently show you how to open this magical container. It was intriguing, and now I regret not buying one for my Mom, since she loves boxes. But, in my defense, Hungary is not on the Euro, so the entire trip I was sort of uncertain about how much I was actually spending on things, so I tried not to go too crazy with purchases. Natalie had told me that it was somewhere around 160 forint to a U.S. dollar, but I’ve started thinking in Euros, so that was just an overwhelming number of conversions, and I haven’t done math since I started college, so I quit trying to guesstimate. I knew the conversion rate was in my favor, but when you see prices like 3000 forints, it can get confusing really fast. Anyway, we did some shopping, walked around a bit, then I think we met up with Natalie’s roommate and friend for a night cruise on the Danube. There might have been something else in between there, but I don’t recall what. The night cruise was gorgeous and hilarious because the video commentary provided was really ridiculous and included the personification of several different bridges and other monuments. We saw the castle all lit up, as well as the magnificent parliament building, and we got complimentary drinks. Always a bonus. After taking obscene amounts of pictures on the Danube, we walked back to Natalie’s apartment to prepare for the space-themed party planned for that evening.

The party was really fun, I drank a lot (too much? No, never! [mom]), and chatted with some of Natalie’s friends and people in her program. It’s interesting to see how other study abroad programs turn out. Our program definitely broke up into identifiable groups, but Natalie’s program still had some smaller groups, but was more cohesive overall than ours has been thus far. It’s very interesting how people interact in these situations. The ended with dancing at a nearby club, like any good night should. We drifted off to sleep with another day of exploring ahead of us.

The next morning we didn’t let our late night stop us from seeing more of the city. We crossed the city and climbed up Gellert Hill to get a great view of the city. It was nice to be a city with a varied landscape. Budapest looked really beautiful and interesting from the top of the hill. We took our time climbing though, it was pretty steep and we were still worn out from the night before. It was nice to just walk around and look at pretty things. We took our time and sat at the top of the hill just looking down at city. Then we walked over to the nearby castle that I had already taken lots of pictures of on the cruise. No matter how many you’ve seen, castles are always magnificent. We then decided to walk back down into the city to grab something to eat, and then after some discussion, Natalie and I planned on going to the House of Terror museum. We ate anther type of traditional Hungarian food, though I can’t recall the name. It was sort of crepe-like, similar to the Dutch pancakes here. I’m learning that most cultures have some sort of similar ‘traditional dish’ of this type. I got one filled with mushrooms, and Natalie and I shared a dessert (I think it was chocolate) filled delight. Cheap and delicious.

After our snack, Natalie and I ventured off to find the House of Terror. She knew the street address, but it took us a little while to find the actual building because it was on a bustling street, and the building wasn’t marked very clearly. The entire experience of visiting the House of Terror was one of the most eerie and moving experiences of my life. First of all, there was a bouncer of sorts at the door to the museum, which is probably one of the reasons why we couldn’t find it at first. This giant man dressed in a black suit opened the door to the museum for us and we walked in to buy our tickets. Inside the building the lighting was very low and the walls were dark and cold. Maybe I should give a little background on the House of Terror before I go much further in my description of the place. The House of Terror served as the headquarters for the Hungarian Nazis from 1944-1945, and was subsequently used by the Communist regime that took over the country after WWII. Both occupants used the location as a place to detain, question, and torture their enemies, mostly Jews and political dissidents. The museum documented the history of Hungary through WWII and the Communist regime that followed, and was meant to be a memorial to all those who suffered from the oppression of this time period. The atmosphere of the museum was much like a haunted house; the lights would dim in and out, music drifted eerily from the walls, and the rooms were filled with screens showing black and white videos of interviews with former prisoners. I learned a lot of history and was very moved by the museum as a whole. The basement was the most striking part though. You begin the tour of the museum on the first floor, then move up to the top floor, and then take an elevator down to the basement where the tour ends. The elevator ride down to the basement was frightening. I’m not positive that it was intentionally so, but most of the museum seemed designed to shock you to some degree. Natalie and I squeezed into the elevator with about five other people. As the doors shut, a video started to play, telling us about what we were about to see. The basement of the House of Terror was used to house the prisoners and was where most of the torturing took place. The video detailed how prisoners were executed using a gallows, and the different torture techniques used. The video lasted much longer than the elevator ride, but the doors didn’t open and the small space became extremely hot and stuffy. All of us were starting to sweat and become anxious in the cramped space as we were forced to watch the creepy video about torture. A very effective technique indeed. It’s strange that I knew I was perfectly safe and that the whole situation was probably designed to freak me out, but I definitely submitted to the feeling of terror they were attempting to induce.

When the doors finally opened, we all spilled out into the cool of the basement. The first rooms down there were all the holding cells for prisoners. Each was crafted for a different sort of torture. One was partially filled with water, so the prisoner could never be completely dry, another was designed so that the prisoner had to constantly be standing straight up with a lit light bulb directly in front of their face, others were so small that the prisoner could never full stretch out, lie down or stand up completely. I wandered in and out of the rooms trying to grasp what sort of awful things might have happened there. There was a moment when I was standing in one of the cells alone when, for just an instant, I physically felt like history had reached through time and grabbed me. It’s a tough feeling to describe and it sounds silly when I try. For a split second I had the tiniest inkling of what some of those prisoners had endured. It was a very moving experience and I’m really glad Natalie and I decided to check it out. The experience ended on a mysterious note when the door to the museum opened for us as we were leaving. I swear. It was so creepy.

After that Natalie and I met up with some of her friends for dinner at a restaurant near her apartment. By this time we were pretty exhausted, but resolved to regroup and go hang out with some of her friends for a while. That plan was short-lived and we decided to head back to her place and watch a movie. I think we made it about ten minutes in before we fell asleep. The next morning we got up and I tried to pack up most of my stuff since it was my last day there. Then we went to the synagogue just down the street to take a tour. Natalie had never been there, but she walked by it almost everyday and was eager to see what it was like inside, as was I. We decided to get a guided tour since it was cheaper anyway and our group moved out of the sunny morning light into the synagogue. The synagogue itself was extremely beautiful (there are lots of pictures of it on facebook if you haven’t seen them already). It was built by a Catholic architect, which I found both strange and interesting. It definitely had the feel of a Catholic church, with lots of gold trim and other colorful decorations. This particular synagogue was the largest in Hungary and had luckily survived WWII, although it had to be extensively renovated because the Germans had used it as a radio tower and consequently it endured lots of bombing during the war. The synagogue is located inside the area that was the Jewish ghetto during WWII, and Natalie actually lives within that same area that was once a ghetto. After looking around inside the synagogue, the tour moved outdoors to the memorial garden and cemetery. Evidently there is a Jewish belief that the living and the dead should remain separate and so they don’t usually have cemeteries near synagogues. However, during WWII the Germans used the area around the synagogue as a mass grave so many Jews were buried there. After the war, most of the families of those buried there had the bodies moved to another location for a proper burial, but some of the families thought it appropriate to leave their loved ones there as a reminder of what had happened during the war. The memorial garden was really beautiful and interesting too. There were several memorials to the Jews that had died during the war and to other people who had aided Jews escape or survive during the war. I really learned a lot about the history of Jews in Budapest and it was my first time visiting a synagogue. I feel like my whole visit to Budapest was very educational and intellectually stimulating, which is always a positive thing. The weight and guilt of WWII is much more evident everywhere in Europe than it is in the United States. It has been interesting to see especially here in the Netherlands how the guilt from the war has affected recent policy decisions about other minority and religious groups. Many Jews lived in the Netherlands prior to the war because it is such a tolerant country, but a very small portion of the Dutch Jews survived the war and it is evident from the many memorials around the city that that tragedy is still a large part of the Dutch identity. Maybe it’s just my experience, but I don’t think that is the case for Americans, at least not to the same extent. Or it could just be that our generation is removed from those events and that we are focusing more on the current problems. I don’t know….

After returning from the synagogue, Natalie and I ate some lunch and then set off for the bus station. She kindly waited with me until it was time to resign myself to my second 22 hour bus ride and we said goodbye knowing that we would see each other again soon when she came to visit Amsterdam. It was really great to hang out with Natalie and see a familiar face from home. It was also kind of surreal. Unfortunately, Natalie had given me her cold while I was visiting her so the bus ride back was guaranteed to be unpleasant. It was both better and worse than the bus ride there. I slept at least a little because I luckily found some drowsy cold medication in my backpack, but I was also coughing and sneezing the whole time and annoying the other passengers. But I finally arrived back in Amsterdam. It is always amazing to come back here. I think I came straight back to my apartment, took a shower, and got into bed. All in all, a wonderful, but exhausting trip.

Earth Air Water Trees

9/4/08

Apologies, a thousand apologies to my dear readers. I am in fact still alive and well here in Amsterdam, although I haven’t updated you all on my activities for about a month now. I was traveling a lot and time just got away from me like it tends to do. But I intend to post three separate posts to catch up on the happenings of the past month. I regret waiting so long to write all this down since I’m sure I have forgotten some of the details and my thoughts about what has been going on, so bear in mind I am trying to get all the highlights down, but I certainly don’t expect to remember it all. If those people who I have experienced these events with find that I have recorded my memories incorrectly, I apologize, but I’m not too worried about getting everything just right. So it goes. I have also been encouraged to be more explicit about my activities and thoughts here, so I will make an effort to meet that challenge. And now returning to several weeks ago….it’s like time travel…..

24/3/08

Way back when in March I traveled for the weekend with Bri and Sarah to Luxembourg over our ‘spring break’ weekend. I don’t remember much in particular about the week prior to the trip, except that it was a pretty great week because my Dutch class ended after our final that Monday, and I was excited to start my few weeks of fairly intense travel. We left for Luxembourg early on Friday the 21^st, with a thrilling nine hour bus ride ahead of us. The first part of the bus ride was enjoyable and we had plenty of space to spread out. Eventually though, the bus started to fill up and guy asked if the seat next to me was open. Proper bus etiquette requires you to oblige when a fellow travel asks to sit next to you. I scooted over, relinquishing the prized extra space to the traveler. The guy seemed pretty normal and sort of interesting, so I couldn’t complain. In my boredom on the next few hours, I became intrigued by this lone traveler who listened to Buddhist philosophy on his ipod and read interesting novels. (Yes, I am that much of a stalker. It’s a nine hour bus ride for god’s sakes. I was bored.) Eventually, I worked up the courage to initiate a conversation with this intriguing stranger. I discovered that he was from Israel, but had lived in the States with his family for a while, and was currently traveling around Europe to try and figure out his life. Nothing new to a girl whose father spent some unknown amount of time in Europe playing guitar and doing god knows what else. Anyway, we had a really long conversation spanning numerous topics including music, politics, cities in Europe, and falafel. Our conversation made the time pass quickly and it also helped restore some of my faith in humanity. I like to think that I and most of my friends and family try to ask the tough questions of the world. I found it reassuring to meet someone completely removed from everyone and everything I know that shares some of the same sentiments about what is going on the world and life in general. I enjoy any opportunity to feel more connected to the rest of the human race because I feel like we often concentrate on how different we are from each other rather than what we have in common. Alright, enough rambling.

As I was so engrossed in my conversation, I didn’t realize we had arrived in Luxembourg until Sarah and Bri were getting their gear together. I hastily collected my belongings and bid my fellow traveler farewell. We stepped off the bus into a beautiful, but chilling, snow shower. Since Sarah had visited Luxembourg once before, she lead the way to the youth hostel where Bri was staying that night, and I would be staying the following two nights. My first impression of Luxembourg was that it is ridiculously beautiful. Once we were near the center of the city, all the buildings were gorgeous stone and brick constructions and the streets were cute and narrow. In addition, Luxembourg City is built in and around wonderful hills and valleys. After several months in a country that is completely flat, hills were a sight for sore eyes. We eventually arrived at the hostel where Bri checked in and we discussed plans for the night. We decided to go back into the main square and eat at the Chi Chi’s there. Disgraceful I know, but Mexican food is in short supply round these parts, and we knew we wouldn’t be disappointed. Dinner was delicious and fun. We all splurged and got drinks and desert as well as regular entrees. I recall much laughing at our, mostly my, ineptitude to function after a long day of traveling. I can’t speak a word of French either which only made matters worse, but also more hilarious. After dinner we decided that we were too exhausted to do anything other than sleep, so Bri headed back to the hostel, and Sarah and I ventured off in search of our hotel. This proved to be more of an ordeal than I expected. We knew we had to take a bus to the outskirts of the city near the airport. We found the right bus, waited a long while for it to arrive, and Sarah asked the driver to tell us which stop to get off at for our hotel. At the next to last stop, the driver told us something like “this is the Hotel Campanile”. We took that as our queue to get off the bus. However, when we stepped off the bus, the location of Hotel Campanile was far from as self-evident as the driver had indicated. We proceeded to walk to a series of buildings that looked like they could be hotels, got conflicting directions from two different nicer hotels than ours, and ended up walking back and forth past the airport several times. Finally we realized that we should have checked past the bus station in the opposite direction we had been walking and sure enough, Hotel Campanile loomed there warm and inviting, a mere 100 meters past the bus stop. Feeling exhausted and defeated, Sarah and I checked in and retreated to our room, which we found to be very well equipped and comfortable for the price of the hotel. We settled in to enjoy several hours of MTV after virtually no television for a month and a half. It was glorious. We watched this show called Fist of Zen, which will sound familiar to you Wooster kids who have been coerced by Zack into watching Old Man Bites Tenderly. It’s a show where five guys have to complete ridiculous and awful challenges for money while in a library. The setting requires relative silence from the contestants, which is nearly impossible since all of the challenges are hilarious. One of the contestants is chosen randomly to endure a challenge each round, most of which are painful, disgusting, and most certainly embarrassing. My favorite was ‘ten sandpaper Eskimo kisses’, mostly because the name is fucking awesome. One guy had to be Eskimo kissed ten times by his fellow contestants, who all had sandpaper taped to their noses. They didn’t mess around. Every guy made sure to rip at least some skin off of the victim’s nose, resulting in some bleeding and much uncontrollable laughter. All around, a good end to a long day of travel.

The next morning we woke up to find that the continental breakfast provided by the hotel was a magnificent spread of French croissants, fruit, and delicious juice and coffee. Yummy. We rode the bus back into town feeling stuffed and satisfied and met up with Bri to head out for the day. We decided to do a trip to another city in Luxembourg since it’s such a small country and we had plenty of time to explore the city. We choose Echternacht, found the correct bus, and paid the unbelievably cheap price of 1,50 euro, and we were on our way. Echternacht turned out to be a great choice on our part. It was the cutest little town. All the streets were brick, the buildings well kept and quaint, and conveniently, all the shops were having sales! We wandered around, established the lay out of the town, and then decided we would venture out on a hike. At this point, the sun came out, the temperature warmed up, and nature smiled down on us. We enjoyed a semi-strenuous climb up a hill which was well worth it for the view of the surrounding hills and the town below. It was exactly what I had been yearning for. I never realized how much of a Appalachia girl I was until I came to the city and missed the green rolling hills and forests of Ohio. It was a very refreshing hike and it seemed fitting it being Easter weekend since I usually feel most spiritual when I’m immersed in natural surroundings. We hiked around wondering at the beautiful gorges, trees, and moss on that hill. After about two hours we started back toward the city. I think at that point we went inside to get ice cream to escape a turn for the worse in the weather. The desserts were delicious and fancily presented. I can’t exactly remember what else we did while in Echternacht. I remember lots of walking around looking at pretty things, eating frequently, and tons of laughing.

Towards the late afternoon evening we hopped on a bus back to Luxembourg City. I checked into the hostel, and I think after that we just sort of laid low and started stressing about the situation facing us at the hostel. The hostel was booked because several different groups were staying there, including a soccer team, and possibly the participants in the festival being held in Luxembourg, called “New Orleans meets Luxembourg”. Bri and I had rooms for that night, but Sarah didn’t have one, so we schemed that she should sneak in and sleep with one of us for the night. We scoped out the situations and sentiments of each of our respective rooms in the hostel and decided mine would be the best bet. We waited until all my other roommates were in their beds and then rushed in and jumped into our top bunk. The night only deteriorated from there. One of our roommates was an elderly French woman who consistently mumbled to herself throughout the night, and periodically turned on the light in the room and rummaged through her belongings, making all kinds of noise. Some of the other women in the room tried yelling at her to be quiet, but with no success. None of us slept very soundly and in the morning Sarah had to brave jumping out of bed before the rest of the people were up and awake. None of them said anything to me about an extra person staying there. I think our whole situation was over shadowed by the crazy French women, but it was a stressful situation nonetheless. That morning we decided to walk around Luxembourg city to view the battlements, walls, and other pretty things. It is a picturesque city with a hint of Mediterranean feel. That afternoon, I think it was that afternoon, we took a tour of the casemates. The casemates consisted of a long tunnel that soldiers used to defend the city throughout its history. The tour guide was very friendly, talkative, and loved America. We also walked around some other pretty garden like place near the casemates. Most of what we did in Luxembourg consisted of us seeing beautiful sites, taking pictures, and me saying how much I like moss. Good times. Sarah decided she wanted to stay at the hotel that night because the situation at the hostel had been uncomfortable and stressful, so she headed back to Hotel Campanile to book a room for the night. Oh shit, I just remembered that I have all these events mixed around to wrong days. I don’t think I’m going to fix it though, I told you at the beginning I would get things wrong, and everyone other than Bri and Sarah won’t know the difference anyhow so…When Sarah returned we chose to have an early dinner at Pizza Hut, because we were all craving pizza. While there, Sarah started feeling ill (probably from food that she ate at a café that I forgot to mention because I remembered all of this wrong). She was pretty sick, so we all went back to the hotel to hang out so she could be comfortable and we could watch more MTV. I ended up staying with her there overnight to make sure she was alright. It was a miserable night for her and I felt bad that I couldn’t do more to make her feel better, but it was the sort of sick that can’t be tamed. After a long night, we packed up and took the bus back into town, where I headed back to the hostel to get my stuff, check out, and meet Bri. We met up with Sarah at the main train station to wait for the bus back to Amsterdam. Sarah was still pretty sick, so the main goal was to help her survive and not be completely miserable on the long ride home. We made it on the bus successfully and traveled the nine hours home. Overall it was a wonderful trip, I thought Luxembourg was a beautiful city/country and it’s not somewhere people usually visit, so I’m glad I went there. I was glad to be back in Amsterdam briefly before my next big adventure. It’s always nice coming back here, seeing our windmill, hearing the Dutch language, and feeling at home. More to come very soon, I promise.

Shadow Song

10/03/08

 

            My lack of dedication to this blog is becoming shameful, I know. But nothing much has been happening lately, nothing extraordinary, except that I’m having a blast. It’s difficult to explain or to write about how just the normal everyday stuff here is amazing. Since the last time I updated, I have mostly been doing schoolwork and going out on weekends (and weekdays). It has been ridiculously fun. I can’t really count how many times I have been out dancing in the past two weeks, but it’s definitely a record for me. But on to a few specific events that I recall from the past week…..

            Last Thursday, a group of us went to the Melkweg for ‘pop trash’ night. Thus began my infatuation with shamelessly dancing for hours on end. I’ve never been much into the dance/club scene, but I have to say, that Amsterdam has certainly changed my mind about that. Anyway, we made it to the Melkweg sometime between midnight and 1 am, and did not stop dancing until the place shut down at 4am. I recall about two separate times when we sat down for a few minutes, but mostly, we spent four hours dancing. The next morning I was sore, and I think Sarah and I agree that we got whiplash from our ridiculous dance marathon. After that, Friday was spent recovering and reading. Friday night we had plans to check out another club, but that didn’t really happen because we were still so exhausted from the Melkweg experience. But we resolved to venture out once more on Saturday night for International Women’s Day at the Paradiso. During the afternoon on Saturday I went to Ooster park to read, which I had promised myself I would do. I did in fact read there for a while, but the weather was really not conducive to outdoor reading, so I gave up after a little over an hour. Saturday night us WOMEN met up to prepare for the night at the Paradiso. International Women’s Day was pretty freaking great. All of the bands had a least a few women in them, usually the singer, and the djs were all women too. We listened to a few different rooms, and danced in an extremely hot room filled with WOMEN. Haha. After we had had our fill of dancing and women powered music, we crossed the street to eat some frites. While devouring our always delicious fries, some crazy Dutch men started talking to us about the presidential elections and where we were from and what we are doing here etc. Who said (drunk) Dutch people aren’t friendly? All in all, it was another wonderful night out in Amsterdam.

            I spend Sunday doing mostly nothing but reading, mucking about online, and talking to my family. This morning I slept in because my usual Monday morning class was cancelled for this week, and then I went to the grocery store. This afternoon I am going to the Rijksmusuem with my Dutch class, and then we have our next to last Dutch class!! I can’t believe Dutch is almost over. I will miss seeing crazy Freek every week. I also can’t believe that after this week March will basically be half over. I have allowed myself to just do normal things over the past few weeks and for the next two for two important reasons. First, I’ve started freaking out about my money, so when I’m not traveling I’m trying to be as frugal as possible. Second, in about two weeks I am going to be traveling for a week and a half with a few days back in Amsterdam in between. That will not only be expensive, but also exhausting. I should probably start working ahead on my school work, but I’m not really counting on that actually happening. I am super excited about traveling though!! Over our ‘spring break’ weekend, Bri and I are going to Luxembourg, which we have been told is incredibly beautiful. I am hoping there will be nice weather so we can go hiking and spend some time outdoors. After Luxembourg, I’m back for like one day before I leave again for Budapest to visit Natalie!! I am so excited about that. I can’t wait to see her and catch up on everything going on in her study abroad experience. I’m so pumped!! So right now I’m just lying low and preparing for the couple of crazy weeks I have coming up. I’m also starting to plan my trip to Paris with my mom. I have already purchased our train tickets, but other than that I’ve got nothing. And I finally found out that Daniel is actually coming to Germany in June!! So I want to try and save up enough money so I can travel there for my last few days here and spend my birthday with them. That would be ideal. I hope it all works out. Well, I’ve got to get ready to head off to the Rijksmuseum. I miss you all and think about how you are doing often!

Peace

Horseradish Road

27/02/08

            It has been over a week since my last post, so I apologize for the extended delay. Things have been fairly busy here between enjoying myself and catching up on schoolwork, so I haven’t had much time to write. As a disclaimer, I will admit that this post will probably not include everything that has happened in the past week, mostly because that would take way too long to write and some of it would be fairly boring. The most exciting thing that happened last week is that Sarah, Christy, Bri, Hallie and I traveled to Belgium and back all in one day! Friday morning, shortly before 6am, we set out walking towards central station because the buses had not even started running yet. We made it to Centraal in time to catch the appropriate metro to Amstel station where the bus stop was located. We were super early, but eventually got checked in and loaded onto the bus. The bus was your typical travel bus; it made me feel like I was in eighth grade again traveling to Washington D. C. Anyway, I slept a little on the 3.5 hour bus ride, and also caught some of the scenery on the way. We rode through Rotterdam, which was a decidedly ugly city, and viewed some of the green ‘agricultural’ fields. It reminded me of a watered-down version of home without hills.

We finally made it to Brussels, but we got confused and weren’t really sure what stop to get off the bus, but we made it off in time and all was well. My first impression of the train and metro stations in Brussels were that they were dirty. It could just have been that it was not the best part of town, but still, I felt that it was grimy and unkempt. We figured out how to buy tickets for the metro, took the train the wrong way, then corrected our mistake and arrived in the center of town. We were all hungry from our already long morning, so we spotted a restaurant that seemed sufficiently Belgium, and stepped inside. It turned out to be a touristy spot, with part of the menu in English, but we had committed to being tourists for the day so we didn’t mind. I ordered a Belgium waffle with hot chocolate. It was delicious and fulfilled my expectations. While eating we decided to take a tour bus around the city so we could see all the sites without walking around the city for hours on end. We hopped on the bus and enjoyed seeing the city of Brussels. The highlights for me were the monument to Belgium independence, which was sort of Brandenburg gate-ish, and this strange enormous metallic structure that was modeled after a specific molecule because it contained 9 atoms that represented the original 9 colonies of Belgium or something. Clearly I’m not big on the details of monuments, but both were certainly breathtaking. We decided to get off the bus and walk around at the Belgian independence memorial, and proceeded to take many hilarious pictures. After that we got back on the bus and completed the remainder of the tour.

Following the tour, we headed to the main square of the city, which was extremely beautiful. Then we set off on a pilgrimage to the Manneken Pis. It’s a statue of a little boy peeing and a very small statue at that. My mom sort of warned me that it wouldn’t be all that it’s built up to be, but I had to see it nevertheless. It was hilarious to see all the tourists there taking pictures in front of this little boy peeing all the paraphernalia in the tourist shops of peeing boy statues and bottle openers. There are several legends about what the statue is all about, the one I heard goes something like, the Belgiums were invaded by a foreign power and some of their troops were setting something on fire and a little boy came along and peed on the fire to save the city. Somewhat unbelievable, but funny all the same.  After seeing the manneken pis, I think we ate some dinner. We stopped at a small Greek place where we ate the most delicious meal for less than 5 euro each. I had falafel pita, and this falafel pita inspired me to purchase falafel at the grocery store yesterday, so we’ll see if I can recreate the same taste explosion. After dinner, we wandered into some chocolate shops and touristy shops. I spent way too much money on chocolate, but it was totally worth it. I also got some chocolate for my family, but we’ll see if it lasts until May when my mom comes to visit. I also picked up a shot glass, as I sort of collect shot glasses from places I visit.

After doing a bit of shopping, we walked back into the square in the center of the city. It was gorgeous at night with everything lit up and the night sky behind the buildings. At this point, we were all pretty exhausted so we made our way back to the train station and just waited until our bus was ready for boarding. I slept some on the trip back, but completely crashed when I got back to Funen. It was actually really nice coming home to Amsterdam after being away even for day. I do feel a strange sense of comfort in the city and I feel less and less like a vagrant as the weeks go by.

Saturday I slept in and woke up very refreshed. Christy, Sarah, and I decided to go out to a coffee shop for the afternoon and walk around the city. It was one of the most enjoyable days I’ve had since being here. The coffee shop was very relaxed and had the most delicious rum-flavored milkshake. We decided to go outside and walk around and quickly became attracted to a store called Kitsch Kitchen. This store is impossible to describe, except that anyone who is high would think it’s the best thing that even happened to the world. Everything was bright and colorful and textured and fantastic. I bought an odd assortment of things, including a date book, a cute change purse, and a purple and white poke-a-dot cup. We also stopped at numerous postcard shops, where I purchased several postcards in German, which I can only half-translate. One of them is a picture of a cat sitting on the couch waiting by a phone and it says “Ich denke an dich”, which means, roughly, I’m thinking about you. I thoroughly enjoyed myself all day. We eventually made it back to Funen without buying all the postcards in the city, and made a delicious dinner of vegetables and cous cous. Sarah then hosted a ‘party’ in her room. Our parties consist of 7 people sitting around drinking and talking about human nature, writing, movies, and star wars until four in the morning. It reminded me of home and having obviously pretentious conversations about esoteric topics with my friends. I miss them all a lot, but I think I’ve found some really cool people to hang out with here too. It’s funny how you get to know people so fast in these situations. I realized I have only known these people for a month, but it feels like so much longer. Anyway, the night was fun, even if it wasn’t exactly a crazy party.

Sunday was spent recovering and catching up on loads of homework that I had been putting off for several days. Monday was sort of the same. I had class all day, and then I had to write a paper for Tuesday morning, so I was up late and then slept in. Yesterday (Tuesday), was more relaxed and productive. I went to the grocery store, did laundry, and finished up some reading for class at 5. I started feeling somewhat under the weather late in the afternoon and into the evening. My glands are swollen and I’ve been unusually tired. I had intended to go out and have fun last night, but we just ended up hanging out and talking because most of us were tired. Today I am trying to take it easy, but still be productive because I don’t have class. I think once I take my shower, I’ll go to school and work there for while so I’m a bit more focused. I also received a package yesterday, but the desk wasn’t open, so I need to go pick it up today. I hope it’s the new Mountain Goats CD. That would make my day. Well, any package would make my day. But I think I’ll go venture out in the world now, I think the weather is pretty warm so I might walk around the Dappermarkt a bit. I like it there. I like it most places in Amsterdam. It’s good to be here.  I can’t believe it’s almost March already. Ahhh!

Peace

Color in Your Cheeks

19/02/08

I apologize for the delay on updates. To be honest, I’m getting a little bored with this whole blogging thing. It takes up a significant amount of time and I feel like I just ramble about nothing so that people know I’m still alive while I’m abroad. But I guess it’s a good thing in the end. You all can know that I’m having a good time, and I can have a sort of record of some of the things I’ve done here in Amsterdam. But I am feeling bogged down by catching up on the past few days and have been avoiding updating for a few days. It’s sort of tedious. Okay, that’s enough complaining. The last time I wrote was on Friday morning. For many reasons I feel that the events of Friday can not be recorded here. Not that I have any reservations about people knowing about the things I do, but the whole evening was a blur of absurdity that I don’t really know how to describe or where to start even thinking about. It’s a day that is best recounted in person, I think, so if you are really that interested in my life, ask me about it sometime in the distant future, and I will grin, and tell you all about it.

On to Saturday then – Saturday I traveled out of the city with Bri, Hallie, Christy, and Sarah to a nearby town called Muiden. It was an easy enough trip, after we asked a million questions, and arrived in the tiny village of Muiden in the early afternoon. We really had no idea where we were or where the castle might be, but the town was small and we followed signs that pointed toward the Muiderslot. Walking through the city was very pleasant. It is a very typical small Dutch town, with narrow streets and quaint little buildings and shops. We all enjoyed its idyllic qualities. We reached Muiderslot and realized that our fantastic museum cards got us in for free, which made the trip even better. We walked around in the gardens, the courtyard and a few other areas of the castle for a bit and then went on a guided tour of the interior living quarters. The tour was in Dutch so we didn’t really get much out of the guide. But it was cool to see the traditional rooms and other things that we wouldn’t have seen without going on the tour. My favorite part of the day was the moat. It was so sweet. It wasn’t overdone, it didn’t feign grandeur, it just served its purpose and provided an extra fairytale element to the castle. I’m definitely considering getting one when I own a house in the future. After getting our fill of the castle, we walked back in to the center of Muiden and chose a small café to get a bite to eat. We were apprehensive about going in because it was definitely a local place, and our fears were validated once inside. All the locals stared and smirked at us as we awkwardly stood at the threshold deciding where to sit down. Once seated, the waiter only spoke to us in Dutch, even though we were mostly speaking English, and acted as though we should understand all of the jibber jabber coming from his mouth. Despite the difficulties we all received food that we enjoyed, and eventually got more comfortable in the homey atmosphere of the café. We finally left and figured out which bus we could take back into Amsterdam, although we did have to stand in the cold a while to catch it. That night I was pretty tired from all the week’s adventures so I stayed in and chilled in my room.

Sunday was less eventful. I think I stayed in most of the day doing homework and laundry and talking with my family and friends online. It was a relaxing day. Monday was busy as usual, with two long classes. I like Public International Law less and less with each class, but I think I can persevere. Dutch is getting to be more and more work, but I’ve realized that it is actually half over. The next three weeks we have field trips to museums before class, so that will be fun and interesting. The exam is on March 17^th I think, so in a month I will be done with one of my classes! That is really exciting because Dutch takes up a lot of time, with four hours of class a week and lots of homework. Last (Monday) night, I just stayed in and did homework for today. I also met with our group to organize things for our trip to Belgium this weekend! I’m really exciting about traveling and am looking forward to it. But it does mean I need to be on top of my work and get a lot done this week. Oh well, it’s worth it. Also I finished reading Atonement last night. I think it was a good book. I wouldn’t rate it in my top 10, but it was a good read. The end of the novel was a bit predictable, at least to me (and no I did not see the movie beforehand). I am looking forward to seeing the movie now though, to see how it compares. I invariably prefer books to movie adaptations, but I like watching the movies anyway.

Today I have just been doing more of my endless reading. Why did I think it was a good idea to be in the law program again? It seems like we have so much more work than other people, but in comparison to last semester it’s nothing, so I can’t complain. Now I think I’m going to go to the grocery store because I am fed up with eating the same three things. Then I have class at 5 until 8, boo. More updates about the specific wonderful plans for this weekend to come…

Peace

Balance

15/02/08

            Well it has been a very enjoyable week. The last time I wrote was Monday I think and I’m not sure I can really even remember all the things I have done this week, but I will try to write down the highlights. Tuesday was a gorgeous day weather wise, and although I didn’t have class I had to get up for a meeting with the academic people here. The meeting was fine, and the weather was enticing me to stay outside, so I rode over to the outdoor market near Funen. I love that place so much. It is so full of life and color and movement. There are all kinds of people selling almost anything you can imagine from bike locks, to fresh fish, to boots, to bed sheets and everything in between. It is all incredibly cheap too, which worries me in some ways, but I’m on a budget so I can’t complain. I was really having a great time, just walking aimlessly by myself, taking in all of the sights and sounds of the day. I bought a pair of earrings (for 1 euro!), some postcards, and delicious fries for a snack. After that I went back to the ISHSS to print some things off for class. The printing situation here really sucks. First of all it is really expensive and we don’t get any type of allowance for printing. We have to pay five cents per page, which doesn’t sound like much, but it adds up quickly. And there is no way to print double sided. So not only am I paying a fortune just to do my reading, I am also wasting lots of paper. This whole situation is not encouraging me to do my work.

            After printing way too many pages with words on only one-side ( it honestly makes me cringe every time I pick something up to read it), I headed back to Funen to chill until my class at 5pm. I’m pretty sure Regulating Religious and Cultural Diversity is going to be my favorite class (I think I have said this before, but oh well). The prof is awesome and I think he is secretly a political theorist, and in love with Charles Taylor, but I can’t be sure. In any case, I think we are going to be reading a lot of political theory/philosophy-esque articles so I am definitely excited about that. That reminds me that I need to start reading for my IS, or at least thinking about what I want to do so Mark doesn’t kill me when I get back next year. I’m considering something with Foucault, but really have no idea what. So I suppose I’ll start by reading more of his stuff and go from there. I still have time I guess, but I want my senior IS to be sweet and I know I’m going to be insanely busy next semester so getting a head start would be ideal.

            Following class on Tuesday, we rounded up the usual group to head over the international students’ borrel that happens every Tuesday. It was really fun, and not quite as crowded and awkward as last week now that we have gotten more acquainted with one another. I think I was hit on by some random Spaniard who basically told me that if I looked people in the eyes, I would be able to pick up guys (that’s the pg version of what he said). Mostly he was amusing because he said ridiculous things like that and was there all by himself, and was only visiting for one day. It was weird, but he wasn’t creeping me out (yet) and he eventually moved on to another group of random people. After a while we decided to head home for the night. Most of us had ridden the bus so we were going to walk back, but a couple of the girls tried to ride on the back of Tim and Nick’s bikes. It didn’t really work out so well because of the balance and sobriety issues. We made the trek home in good time and dispersed to our separate rooms. I wasn’t really all that tired, and I ended up watching a movie (Hard Eight) with a couple of people. It was relaxing, but I went to bed way later than I intended. Wednesday morning I slept in, and then basically bummed around the room all day trying to do work. I completed three briefs for my law seminar class. I was disappointed with my performance though; Mark would have laughed at how shitty these briefs were compared to my past work. But it was fine, and the prof’s requirements were really ambiguous so I’ll just see how I do on these and adjust accordingly. I also spent a lot of time talking with people online which is always fun, but also very distracting. I talked to Matt for a while and felt sad afterwards that I won’t get to see him for a long time. It’s too bad he can’t visit the dam. I guess we will just have to make up for it this summer. Thursday morning I attended my law seminar class. I really don’t even know where to start about this class. I felt like we just sat there for three hours, occasionally engaging in extremely polarized political discussions and Jan (the prof) occasionally went through the power point at lightning speed. Some of the information was interesting, but the class does not have enough structure and she mentioned many of her personal beliefs during class, which is okay in the right context. But this was sort of like a free-for-all every so often where we all just said random thoughts we have about politics. It was painfully unproductive. But at least I’m not very worried about the difficultly of the class so I suppose I will endure the long and pointless lectures to enjoy the field trips later this semester.

            After surviving the marathon of law lecture, I left with Hallie to find the library so we could get some reading that we have for another class. It’s a long story, but basically we needed to find a book for our assignment because someone else in the class had not replaced it so everyone else could make copies and do the reading also. We found the library and a very helpful man told us all sorts of useful things about the library and checking out books there, printing, etc. However, we decided not to make the copies of the book because there was way too much involved, and it wasn’t our fault in the first place that we can’t get the reading. Then we rode over to this cute café called Bagels and Beans for lunch. I had a sesame bagel with gouda cheese, honey, and walnuts. It was delicious as was the black chai tea. A very pleasant café I would say, except maybe too American. Hallie and I noticed that almost everyone there at the time was speaking English, so it didn’t really feel like we were in Amsterdam for a while. I might enjoy that feeling later this semester when I start missing home more, but for now I would rather not go places that are familiar. After lunch we walked around a bit and then headed to the SIC to complete some other residence permit appointment. I think all of those bureaucratic necessities are finally over so that is a relief.  We then milled around the area a bit, checking out shops and figuring out where things are located. We finally came back to Funen, and I had about an hour before I had to leave again for Dutch. It was a very long and productive day. Dutch was fine, not many people have been showing up for class and we have a vocab quiz Monday. On the way back from class Christy and I stopped at Albert Heijn to pick up a few bottles of wine. We had been planning to try out the popular club Paradiso that night, so we needed some liquids to get fluid before going out. I got back to my apartment, ate a rushed dinner, got a shower and then went to hang out with the gang in Sarah’s room. I really enjoy all the people in our ‘group’. I think we mesh well and have a good chemistry going so far. We hung out, talked, drank lots of wine and finally decided to voyage out to Paradiso. After some debate we all decided to ride bikes there, with Sarah successfully riding on the back of Thomas’s bike. I was apprehensive about riding my bike under the influence, since it is sort of not allowed, and also I didn’t really trust myself to remain balanced and steer correctly. But my all my fears melted away immediately once I started riding. It was certainly one of the most enjoyable and liberating activities I have recently experienced. The wind was rushing coolly over my skin, my legs pumping the pedals and everything I encountered came into sharper focus, sort of the opposite of what you might expect. I became more aware of all the lights and sounds of the night and grinned ridiculously the whole ride there. It was incredible. When the rest of the group had caught up, we headed into Paradiso, and paid the ridiculous cover charge. We picked a room (since there are numerous rooms on different floors, at least I think) and started jamming to the techno music (naturally, fucking Europeans). I was feeling good and got more into dancing than usual. I guess I just thought, hey fuck it, I’m only in Amsterdam once, and who cares if all these people know I’m a pretty awful dancer. I doubt any of them would hold it against me. So I let loose and danced, danced, danced. After a while a band called Polysics (?) came on to play a set. I don’t really know how to describe their music, except that normally I wouldn’t choose to listen to it. But they were totally into it which always guarantees a good live show, and it had a good beat. It was funny to see how everyone sort of let loose over the course of the night and got into the groove of Paradiso. It was an amazingly fun night. Afterward we all rode our bikes home safely and crashed for the night.

            Today I have just been hanging in my room updating this nonsense and recovering from the night’s festivities. I think I’m going to go over and print off some things for class, maybe do a bit of reading for class or pleasure, and go walk around a market or something. Tonight I think we are planning a chill time at a coffee shop or café or something. Nothing too crazy, but I’m looking forward to the night nonetheless. Tomorrow I think we are still planning on visiting a historic castle nearby. It’s only a 6 Euro train ride there and I think it will be nice to get out of the city for a bit. I’m starting to miss the green spaces of rural Ohio. Who knew, right? I hope you all had a wonderful or at least not terribly depressing Valentine’s Day!

~Peace and hair grease